Exam

So as i'm sitting at my battlestation sipping my Cuba libre and thinking about the fact that uni starts next week something hit me. Why not hold a troll exam, no, A CHALLENGE to all trolls? As a reward ( not that winning this thing isn't a reward in itself) i'll have a permanent link back to your blog somewhere on mine; and no not at the bottom, but kind of like the blog roll to the right... AND you get to be my protégé. So without further a due:

I want you to finish this poem for me, in the manner you see fit. Troll who gets most points wins.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

.......................

.......................

Points are awarded as follows:

-5 pts for writing your comment in the form of an answer which makes sense, using real words - this means you pass* (i'm lenient)

-1 pt for writing both rows (1 row is fine but you don't get this point)

-2 pts for rhyming (+1 more if the rhyme makes sense)

-1 pt if the word that ends the rhyme isn't "you", "too", "to", "2" and ofc "blue"

-1 troll point for style.

You may begin immediately and you have until i decide to write a new post/article/the game

*passing means you get to have your blog added to the blogroll

Sloganizer!

So guys, check out Sloganizer. This thing can provide a good 4-5 minutes of extreme lulz if you know what to write and/or if you're in good company. I suggest stuff like: racism, Hitler, buttseks, gang-rape and the classic two-hand fisting. Give it a try!

Thanks Sloganizer!

Trolling (the truth)

OK everybody it seems like i've made a huge error and along with it i've lead you down the path of damnation and fail.

Newfags trolling

It was recently brought to my attention that what i considered to be trolling is something completely different. You see... trolling is a method of fishing where one or more fishing lines, baited with lures or bait fish, are drawn through the water. This may be behind a moving boat, or by slowly winding the line in when fishing from a static position, or even sweeping the line from side-to-side, e.g. when fishing from a jetty. So grab your fishing lines cause it's about to get wet.
Apparently all this time we've been doing it wrong so i've prepared a quick start guide. CAUTION: proper equipment is a must!
Accodrding to The People's Communist Republic of Wikipedia trolling speed is one of the most important aspects to consider while trolling:

Baits and lures are typically trolled at speeds up to 9 knots, though speeds up to 15 knots can be used, particularly when trolls are travelling to different trolling areas. The speed at which the lure is pulled through the water impacts on the fishing success. The optimum trolling speed varies with different species of fish, with weather conditions and the time of year, and other conditions. Chinook salmon can be successfully trolled at higher speeds than more docile lake trout. For these reasons fishermen use devices that accurately track speed. Trolling motors calibrate speed more accurately than large outboard motors. Trolling plates are also used with larger motors to slow the boat to the desired speed, although some anglers experience mixed results with plates.
Trolling can be effective at surprisingly low speeds.

Protrolling

Yes i am just as shocked as you are but when faced with a reality shattering truth such as this, we must stay strong and not lose faith.

Tips up and tight lines ;)

On the wings of a troll - my life's story, a troll's story

I don't remember when i first started trolling or why. Sometimes these things get lost in the depths of memory, where we commit them and maybe it's best that way.
I was born in a small town in a rather wealthy family and as i recall things were good. But as time went by i grew up and school started. Now let me tell you, that was the perfect trolling environment: lots of saps to mess with, teachers taking kids seriously, yeah school was srs business.
Then one day it happened. I remember that day clear as crystal, the day that would change everything. My best friend had just died and i had been acting very aggressively all week, trolling left and right. Events culminated with me getting in a battle with some tough-ass rapper which lasted for a few hours and my mom got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

Celebration - Throw a paper plane to your loved ones

Hello there young apprentices. As many of you may know this is the 11th of September. For us trolls this day marks one of the lulziest event in modern history. But laughing about it is just plain wrong...
Now what we need to do is spread the love and to that end i've decided a paper plane would be the best way to do it. At the bottom of the article you'll find a visual guide on how to construct a paper plane.
 I advise you write "Happy 9/11 day!" on it and throw it to your friends, loved ones or even random people to make their day just a bit more miserable. Now go, go and spread the love and merriment.




The first pale leaves
A tower collapsing            
Autumn's embrace






What can i say... days like this make me feel poetic :3

For you advanced trolls here's a youtube video detailing on how to make a really badass plane: Fo' shizzle