Ẁei̕͝r͟d ̀͏s̶͟h͜͠it ̷̡̕h͜͝͏a̶͟͢p̨͠͏p͏e̶͞͝n̡̡ing

I͡҉͕̻͉͙͈̞͚͔̣͜t̰̘͓̦̺̠͕͜ͅs̠̲͖ ̥̹̫̯͔̕̕b̵̧̖̲̬͓̗̯͟e͓̦̥̣͈͍e̱͍̝͉͍͇̦͎͎͘͟n̟͈̱ ̸̜̩̙g̡̬̘̫̩͠ǫ̻̰͢i̴̯͇̳͖͈̟̕n̗̭̺̕g̗͈͔̺͉̹̠͞͠͡ͅ ͉̜̻͙̦o̢̲̭̣̠̯ņ̬͈̳̳̩ ͇̠͚͉̳̘̙̬́ͅf̵̧̲̕o̬̜͎͇̬͠ͅr̞͓̰̲͠ ̜͖̠͕̦̱̗͚͚͘͘a̜͞ ̙̭͠f̷̧̖̘̰̹͔̪e̥̩̯ẁ̡͉͕̺͞ ̛͚͍̱̗̮̟͞ḓ̢̝̱͈̻̺̖͙̮a͚̲ỵ̗̱̗̜̻s̙̺͈̞̮̟̀ ̛̙͟n̰͘͜o̭̳͉̝̙̼̦͎͠ẁ̯͚͚̠͈͜ͅ.̢̙̟̠̘̱̬̤͟͝ͅ ̞̣̦͖̺͔I̡͍̰̻̹̱̟'̯̙̙̗̭̟̜v̺̹̖͜e̫͕̪͜͠ ̢͈̟̮̠͎̝̗͢b̝̼̜͔̣̘e̪̝̯̼͜e͖͖̥̕n̶̼̳͇̭̦͝ ͓͇̯̜̺̼̬͜͢͢ẖ͕̲̪͈̙́͝a̢̯̼̞̙͉͔͡v̶̝͈̫͕̯̱͚̕i̗̼͔ǹ̛͍̰̗̟g̷̗̲͘ ̖̫t̥̮̩͈͉h̴̢͕͖ȩ̶̱̫̝̞ś̠̪ͅe̛͉̮ ̵̞͙̻w̤̭̯͓̤ͅe̬̫i̜̥r̘̦̻͕̞͉̪͡ḏ̼̬̝̪̕ ̴̴͚̖̖̲̟̦̩d̯̳̺̕̕ͅŕ̹̖̯̗͇͎͙̗ẹ̬͖̞̰͚͕̹̱͢a̧̗͙͔̬̤͔͢m͢҉̗̣s͡͏̡̭̠ ҉̷͎̘̟̞̰a͉̗̤̘b̹̘̤͇̱o̳͖̲̰͟͡͝u͚̻t̨̥̙̱͓̰͇ ̡͙͓̣̝͉͓͢p͈͈̝̙͚͖͟l̺͇͔͎͔a͏̵̮̭̻̦̬c̗̳̳̜̺̕͠è̛̞̫̜̠̗̞̠͉͝s͕̳̲͓ͅ ҉̻̹f͈̘̥́á̩͈́r̢҉̰͖̳̻͉̦̩ ̀͡͏̻̰͓̤̯͔͉̮̠f̶͍͉̣̤̜̠͍̮̙a͜҉̝̙͔̣̪̲͔̩͞r̮͖͈̗͔̲͚̯̩͠ ̢͚͓̰͍̙̗͉̝͢a̶̡̘͍̖̳̙͕͠ẃ̝̰̣̣̺͓a̷̜͔͙͎̖͞y̸̥̪̘͙͕̰͔͚͡ ҉͚̥w͇̩̦͎̝̹͟h̶҉̗͔̰͉͙͎͍̼e̱͈̬͈̹̙̠̕r̯͎̤͖̫é̸̦̟̙̭͈͜ ̭͍̯̭̪͎͖̼͎̕͠m̡̭̺͈̫̲̖̥͙͘͠o̵̲̼̲̹̩̼̰̕r̴̨̠̬͟a̙̺̮̙ĺ̞̜̭͎͈̠̫ì͕̭̞̮̙ͅţ̵̯̩̱́y̻̪͈̹̦̘͉͞ ̱̖̱̪h͉̲a͏͉͈s̴̹̱̩͘ ̪̟͍ń͍̟̥̪̠͙̦͙͢o̩͉̞̦͕̭̩͖͡ͅt̵͔͙͠ͅ ̪̩̜͎͕̜ý̲͖e̖̤t̰̞͉͎̣̗͍͞ ̛̮̣̠͎̰b̛̝̯̠̰̟̻̤é͖͍̳e҉̧̡̦̜̙̬n͍̖͡ ̹͔͕͎͓̬̙̯ͅs̀͜͏̭̦̞̗p͓̱̱̰͎̞̫͞o͇͓t̜̬̻̺̥̻̥ṭ̠̱͚̮͈͜e͇͔̯̤̻d̶͎̹͚̙̰̬̀.̨̨̖̼͉̯́ ̵͖̻̭̥̻͞O̴̷̼̟̥͓̫̱̟̖̝ǹ̡͍̱̮̳͍̮̻̩̤͜e̱̠͇̤͠ ̨̥͔̠̕m̡̩͇̜̲̫i͈̪͜g̦̘͖̣͖h̡͓͚̗̟̯͇̮̠̫̀́t̻̦͓̜͜ͅ ̣ṣ͎͕̳͟a̵̷̝͉͚̼̤͔y̯̘̯͟ͅ ̶҉̣͈t̴͙̠̺̰͔͕͍͜ẖ̢̭͇́a̝͕͟ț̣̲̰̪̜̀͡ ̢̭̞̩͝͠i̝͍͍͡t̸̨͔͈͕'̨͎̝̼s̰̞̬͚͍͇̤̮̺͞ ̥͓̗̻ͅa͞҉̭̹̫͍͍ ̴͚̩͕̤͎͉t̷̵̜̤̮̳̩̗̕r̵̬͉̹͖͚̹o͏̠͕̥̼̕ͅl̴̴͕͖̼̟̘͍̮̪̣l̵̫̗̗̰̟͝ ̨͓̣p̹̱̦͝a̷͖͍͔͇͙r̯̪͠a͈̻̟͟ḍ͉͕̤͉̻̯͝i̴̫̩͎͙̭̪͟s̡̡͙̦̟̗͔̕ẹ̢̩͢ ̦̪̼̪̭ͅb̵̶̹̠͈͙̦̭u̵̷̸̹̩t̘̰̦͉̮́͟͟ ̡͍̳̬͈͖̥͝w̺̩̙̩͍͖̦̕ͅe̡̱͟i̶̤̦͕͔̬͉͘ͅr͚̺d͏̵̘͓̜̰̜͖ ̺̦̻ṭ̯̟̣͙͍͡h͈̜̬͖̫̱͎̭͇i̦͈̗̪̹͟n̵̸̡͎ͅg̴̥̱͝s̛̼̗̞͓͙̣͚̘ ̥̜̳̪̝̯̖̠ą͏̜̰̖͙̗r̶̠̀e̛̲̬̲̹̘͚͟͞ ̵͎̰̤̺ḩ̬a̶̭̜̬̮̼̖̩͕͉͜p̶̧̺̻͎͙̺͉̺p̮̜̲̖̰̦̳̰̀͘e͖̲̼͘͢n̼͉̗̥̙͢͟i̛̫̱̕n̜͎̱͙g̴̛̜̝̤̭̺̲̙.̸͇͘.

F̵͉̫̟̼̤͎̥͢͝r̛͇̲̺̱̠͟͟o҉̴͉̰̳͎̝̱̥͇̠͔͓̭̰͎̰̝̗̟̬͘͝͠m̸̵̸͚͓͍͔̣̪͚͎̠͚̻͕̭͍̣̀̕ͅ ̵̲̺̺̦͕̲͇͓̠̯̱͙̦̙́͘e̵̢̥͖͙̤͚̰̦͙̩̺͎͓͖͇͢͠͝ṿ̧̲͈͎̳̝̗͙̩̭̮̫͙́e̢̝̫̩̠͇͈̠͙͍̤̙͖͉̮͕̕ͅŕ̴̨͉̞͎͈̦̪̲̩̮̹̯͈̩̯͢͡ͅy̝̺͙̻̫͞͡ ̶̺͎͔̰͙̗̟̠͙͖̟̲̲̪̭̖̀͢͟ͅc̵̡̧̘͎̱̖̼̺̪̗̱̥̘̺͍̭͕͟͠ò̢͢҉̭̖͓̝̻̰̣͕̻̙̳̘̭ͅr̲̰͎̤͍̼͚̼̼͓͝͞ņ͏҉͈͈̮͔͇̮̗̹͕̪͉͚̣̝̜̤e͏̛̻̞̱͚̝̫̱̠͙̤͚̤̞͇͞ṛ̵̷̟͈̬̻̫̙̘̖̜̣̘ ̴̨͉̖̙͍̜̰͎̮̙̤͎̝͍͍͘͟͝ͅį̣̜̞͕͔̜̦͖̀͘͝͞ ̧̫̰͓̣͚̠̤̱̰͖̹̰̪͔́́s̵͢͏̼̪̟̪̲̺͜͞ȩ͇͍͎̯͍̭̩̤̣̗̬͎̘̜̟̖̫̦̀̕͢è̝̻͇̞͝͝ ̡͞͏̠͎̦̺̺̪̳s͏̕͡͏̦̖͇͍̲͕̳͙̼̮̺͚̮̝͝h̡̯̜̦̣̲̠̞̩̭̹̙̱̗̀́ḁ̛͓̙̙̜̘̩̻̰̤̤d̸̢͠҉̭͔̪̮̥̠̗ó̵̙̩͚̪̫̕͡w̧̰̮̫̫̺̳̙̙͙̳̭ͅͅş̧̛̟͙̤͔͍͈̘̜̳̺̤̲̺̕͞ ̶҉͈̺̻̫̟̟̞̪̤̰̳͠t̢͕̞̦͎̥̹̖̫͓w҉҉̛̩̰̜͔̥̻̕i̛̭͓͙̠̦̞͈̞̺͠͡s̶҉̮̣̦̱͔̯̖͓̼̘̼͎͚̖͝ͅt̨̧͢҉͙̜̦͔̭̮͙̠͇̰̟͕̲̻̪̱į̰̩̪͎͎̣̜̝̺̳̖͇̠̤̗́̀͟ͅń̡̫̣̺͔͇̬̞̥́͜ͅg̷͏̺̭̥̦ ̫͚̖͔̖͙̩͓̳̲̮̫̞͢͠ͅͅͅͅá̢͘͝҉̩̟͕̜̼̣̥̮̹̻̬̘̻͍͙͍n̵̢̤̯͇̥͎̬̗͢͡͞ḑ̸̣̘̙͉̪̟̤͙̝̝̟̻̮̯̩̠͍̀ ͘͏̭̜̪̟̱̙̫̼̭̟̪̬͉̼̪̯͝m̵̷̶͉͎̜̙̜͇̯̪̩͈̝̣̩̼̮o̶͏҉̙͖͖͉̖r̢̧̥̜̳̥̙͓̦̻͉̖̙͢p͟͏͚̙̘̘͍̺͓͈̤͖͖̮̤̥̙h̵̶̶͙̣͔͖͈̰̗̫̝̰̮͚̤̗̪̺̀̕į̵̘̖̪͈̮͡n̷͜͏҉̥͓̭̗̼͎͈̞̖̝͖̣͚̞͕̼̱ģ̶̣̬͍̞̰̝͉̟͇̺͍̤͚̩̪̳ͅͅ ̸͙̮̲͔͍͈̗̕a̧̨̲͙͈̝͝ń̪̙͇̠͢d̸͎̥̘̖̗͙̤̝̠̙̜̀́͘͠ ̸̧̜̬̣͓͓̲͇̱͎͉͈͖̜͖̥̟́͟͞ẁ̡͓̠͖̖̲͍͎͖̪͚͚͎̬͞h̨̢̟̥̻̠̮̠̤̞͜e̷̵̟͉͎͙̼̫͜͟n̵͕̙̻̠̹̪͔͕͙͈͉͍ͅe̛̹̳̗̖̲̰̲̹̲̱̰͉͡͡v̵̷͙̝͕̘̠̖͍̀e̡̢̠̥̝̤͇̗͕͈̘̠͉̘̦̣̪̹ͅŗ͞҉̖̬̞͍͡ ̨͈̮̣̲̺̲͜͜i͏̡͏̵̢̬̱̠̥̮͍̰̘͉̭̯̫͙͚̻̺͎'̵̨̛͉͈̖̹̱̼̩̫̼̦̜̱̳̦̗͉̬͚̹͘͟m̶̯̖͔̝̰̼͉̞̜̞̟͍͔̮͙̟̀͘͢͞ͅͅ ̨̮̜̥͇͚̥͓̭̦̥͙͓̹̣͚͡ą̯̬̜͎̕͜l̛͓̹̪̘͈̪̫̟̩̤͈̺̪̀͢o̷҉̶͓̘̺̣͠ṉ̢̨̛͎͓̹̣̼̠͎̟͔͚̪͠͝e̸̡̢̜̫͕̫͙̱̰̦͍̜̞̠̪̕ ̷̬̙͓̼̰̬͖͙͎͕̼͟͝ͅi̡̛͙͖̜͇̣̰̩̜̦͕̝̜̖̗̤͇͘͝ͅ ̢̧̛̬͚͉͙̼̘̪̙̝h̶̩̥̠̫͈͉̖͇̪̬̗̰̙̹̀é̖͍̳̺̺͎̲̱͙̺̲̱̣̘̦̹̠̦͓́͘à̰̗̠̖̫̺̫̩̮̳̭̤͖͓͕̩͓̝̟̕r͠҉̨̖͙̻̞̺̱̤͚̙͙̭͕̰͉͇͔̹̝ ́҉̷̬̟̟̙̝̻̥̥͚̺̀ͅẃ̴̵҉͉͙̠̥̺͙̻̣̠͚͍h̕͘͏̸̡͇̥̺͇͙̱͉̰ͅi̴͇̪̝̮͟s̱͎͚̻̟͔͓͇̱̰̻͝͝ͅp̢̨̮͕̞̻̲̝̰͍̻͖̀è̸̸͓̳̠̩̟͔̲͙͉͉r̕͟҉̙͎̹̪̠̖͙͟s̢̡̯̜͚͜ͅ.̸̶̳̠͇̤͈͍͎̻̕ ̻̞̙͎̙̮̜͕̗̩̀̀͢I̧̼̗̫̻͍͔̹̭͜͞t̷͡҉̷̮̩̮͓̪̼̭̩̙̦̰̟̤͍̟̣̹'̶҉̡̺̘̩̤s̡͕̖̙̙̟͍͓͉̯̟̰̬̝̹̯̻̦͈̺͝ ̡͚̫̪̭͇̯͈̺̥̰ļ̵̴̲̩͎͎͇̯͎͔́͝i̴̤̗̜̘͎͈̮͍̪̩͍͓͜͝ͅķ̮̲̝̲̭̤͓̹̥͚̀̀͢e͏̶̙̰̪͎͎̭͚͇̻͙̣̰̱̣͕̪͇̻̬͘̕ ̨͚̖̯̪̟̪̩͖͙̹͙̫̩͖͟ͅͅs̶̨̛̘̟̺͔̫͚̀ͅo̪̦̺̗͉͔̗̼͔̕͡͞m̵̘͙̬̯̱̬̥̭̖̺̲̼͙͓͠ͅͅè̢̥̗͙̀͜ͅo̸̬̥͍̝͉͖̜̺̫̩͔̯̣͇̥͟͞ń̙͖̖͈̟̟͚̟̤̙̬̜͔̀̕͜e̷̛͙̣̠͚̰̟̣̜͖͞ ͏͏̵̶̛̯̦͕͙̞͉̞̝̻̣̪̦͎̠ͅi̷͉̱̬̤̬̯̩͔̯͈̼s͏̵̧͕͉̣͉͓̮̺̬͎͉̼̼͎̫̮͈̻̕̕ͅ ̨́͡͡͏͓͓͇͔̺̗̟̪͚͇̗̹̖̥̳ͅͅt̡̩̜͈̤͉̕͞r͜͝҉̷̹̫̻̳͕̬̲̳̯̩̱͎͙̤̩͎͎ͅy͏̡̟̰͇͜i̵͙͚̣͇̪͇̻̬̲̥̲̬̖͕̰͓̪͎̕͜n҉̴̷̨̼͙̗͎̞̻̥̺̻̗̜̮̙̥͎̩̻g̛̘̺͚̪̳͖͉͕̩̀͠ͅ ̲̼̣͎̙̼͕͜͡ͅt̰̮͉͔̩͙͔̦̮̯̩̝̟͟o̴̡͎͈͓͈̙̯̦̥̲̕͟͡ ̢͙̳̮͎̻͈̱̀̕c̡̡̮͈̙͈͇̳͉̘̙̙̪͚͓͞͠ó̡̬̦͎̮͜͟ͅn̶̸͙͍̺̣̙͚ͅt̸̴̵̘̝͍̺̱͓͈̪̼͎̘͚͚̞̭͍̺ą̵̛̗̺̜̭͓͚̫̳͞͠c͟͜҉̰̼̙̘̣͞ͅt͜͟͏̙̪͕̺̭̩̲̟̗͕̱͙̺͙̣̺̠̯͘͠ͅ ͏҉̟͕̖̦͓͓͎̰͍̬͠m̶͉̱̘͕̻͈͓̩̀e̶̹̟̝̬̰̘͕̥̟̰̫͎ͅ ̨͏̷̡̨̪͔̬͚͓̥̫̤͔͉͙̥̟b̢̛̦͉̮̲̭̹̤̞̮̗͙̖̺̳̗̫̫̞u̵̡̫͍̯̥̠͔̘̪͇̣͚̖͢t̲͉̜̘̜̟͝ ̷̷̗͎̟͖̞͖̮͈̭̯͎̳̘̤͢í͜͏̦̪̦̻͇̫̘̭͕ͅs̵̕̕͏̨̜̜͎̲̤͚̤̫̮͍̝ͅn̷͕͕͚̹͚̳̣̞̭͍̳̯͎̠̟̘̩͟'̨̳̯̝̝̜̰̩̯̺͘ṱ̡̬̖̮͖͔̦̗͖̦̙̗͚̲͟ ̵̶̣̘̖̻͎̣̼̰̞̟̪̪͚̹̫͘r̸̡͇̹̤̤͖͖̜e̜̠̹͉͖̖͈͍͉̠̳͡à̷̮̱̯̯͚͟͝ḽ̴̘͍̘͕̥̼́̕l̹͎͉̻͔̦̩̟͔̩̙̞͟͟͠y̴̴̡͎̫̲̮̱̙͘͟ ̸͔͚̝̱̘d̷̩̠͔̰̹͈͘͢͢͠ó̥̭̭͘͠ͅị̥̰̟̳̮̙͘͜͞n҉̫̘̰̜͎̫͚͢͞͞ͅg̶̘͖͎͓̮̫̀̕ ͘͞҉͈̻͓̜͚͕̻̣͎͔͈͕͚͕̗̙̬͉̪a̮̠͖̥̩̣̺̤͔̲̮̕ ͍̩͇͇̯͘͢ͅg̶̹͚̬̯̲̰͓͙̳̜ò́҉̥̮̬̘̺̙̞͍͓̦̬̮ͅò̷͚̪̬̟͚͓͙͇̻̗̺̻̙̞̼̬̲̠͢ͅd͞҉̹̠̯̗̼̬̻͕̠͙͍̬̲̼̪ ̶̨̬̰̮̣̘̬͇̖̟͉̮͍̕j́҉͖̗͕̟̹̠̣͈̗͇͕̗̀́̕ͅǫ̡̬̣̭̗̭̼͈͓̮̟̙̘̙̻̼͜b̧͏̨̧͖̣͓̥̹̥̱͕̭̣͜.̀҉̸̴̷̭̱̳̺̤̝̠̲̪̠̻ͅͅ ̵̵̨̩̳͓̥̱̹̕͘T̨͞҉̟̯͓̜͖̝̯̣͇̬̦h̸̸̢̲͖̳̻̹̬̯̗̩̀e͇͓̼̩͞ ̶͢҉͕̤̝͓̳̠̞̗̝͓̤͈͢ẁ̴̧̡̝̟̗͎̲̬̦̤̞ͅh͏̺̻̩̜̣̜ͅì̼̘͉͘͝ṣ̩͇̱̞͍͇̳̥͇̪͙̜̥͙̀̀͘͢͠ͅp͏̨̯͈̱̥͟e̸̜͎̩̖̲̣̫̭̳̻̤͈̜͈̘̙̟̞͘r̢̧̹̺̭̹͈̹̣̱̻̯̭̮̼͞s̴̯̳̪̤̖̟̮̟̭͍̙̻̯̦ ̶̲͓̠̼̳̝̗͘͢ą̸̕͏̣͍̻͖͇͍͍͙̜̘͇͈͎̠r̦̘̖͚̪͕͔͙̺͉̯̯͈̤͔͉͢͞ę̕͞͏̹̗̼͖̲̙̜̦̠̗͓̯̲͕̳͞ ̢̛͖̖͉͓̠̻̤͇̠͡ẃ̼̮̩̱o͏̛̯͉͔̦͙̫͖̹͠r̨̢̡͈̖͔͇̤͓̀͞s̶̛͏̪̲͍̟̳͕̤͇̜̕ͅt̛̬̻͎̥̀ͅ ̶̛͔͙̭̫͟͠͡í̴͞҉̣̻̪̬͖͎̼̥̘͍͓̰̞͓̫̲͢n̲̲͙̗̞̥̺̲͍͎͓͟ ̶̶̴̛̯̗͔̤͚̜̹̬͚͔̹̼̜͙̱̖̻͘m̕͝҉̖̦̼̹ý҉̴̶̛͙̣̜͉̮̞̗̬͈̜̤̲̖̼̲ ̻͎̫͙̲͙̩̘͚̼̦͇͍̤̩̕͜ͅd̷̛̘̭̣͔̱͙̳͓͉̺̩͍̣̘̙̀r̵̡͉̭̩̲͕̙̣̣͇̯̙͍͖̟͢͠͡é̱͔͔̯̲̹͖̣͙̗̤̠̭̕͟͢͞ͅa̕͡҉̥̪͚͈̭̣͈̞͉̦͘͜m̵̢̯̥͓̱͉̣͠s̛̙̳̹̤͙̫̘̱̮̫̻͔̝͕͘͜͞ ̧̡̗̪̞̩͓̗̮̱̩̮̜̬͠ą̶̠̲̦̳͟ǹ̵̯̩̥̙̖̣̠̯̻̺̬̺̦͕̝̖͟͞d̵̻̼̯̝̝̗͍̣̤̝͕̀͢ ̮͈̻̥̤̠͉͈̞̬́͘͘͠t̶̷͉̰̞̘͓̱̣̞̪h͘͡͝͏̙̺̦͙͖̗̦̯̠̬͍ͅè̷̵̢̮͔͉̮͉̬̹͘ ̷̷̯͕̠͓̹̥͉̦̰͕̼͚͓̲̳͞ó̷̷̩̮̜͓͚͈͢ͅn̨͙̳̮̙̗̕͝l̢̡͎̳̥̰͚̞͙̟̥̦͜͟͞y͢͞͏̸͍̗̣̝͖̬ ̴̨͓̼̩͖͚͓̫̰̠̲̜̖͇̤̠̯̙͈͘͟t̢͖͇͚̀́̀ḩ̧̡̬̭̼͓͉͎ͅi̧̪̲͓̹̘̺̳͍̝͓̼͉̬̱͓͡͡n͎̥̝̼̘̱̮͇̠͘͡g̸̫̰͙̟͙͍̠̻̦̗̲̹̪̮̲ ̡̰̜͇̼̙͕̺͈̭͉̟̯͕̥̦̜͕̣̹i̷̛̛̗͓̪̗͎̥͓̹͚͝͞ͅ ̵̧̮̠̹̝̭̦̗̗̤̰̠̦̞͇́̕͡ͅc̡͏̸̗̙͙̺̀á̢͙̺͙̲͇̮́ǹ̸͟҉̠̠̱̲͍͔͈͖̼̭̟̥͘ ̡̨̛̥̹̲̯͔̦̥̖̫͚͟m̷̶̢̫̠̹͚͔͔̦͈̻̤̞̦̘̘͡á̸̷̴͔̭͇͔̳̦̣̝̯̮̼̠͓̥̳̜̘ͅk̵̸͍͔͈̖̯͔̀ͅè̵̶̸̻͕̭̥͟ ̵̨̟̫͓͍̳̠̠̠͘͡o͏̧͜҉̞̦̤̩̻͖̗̤ų̷҉̭͔̞͍̣̪t̫̬̰̙̣͇͔́͜ ̵̵͜͏̛̰̯̫̠̫̙͙̣̮̦̻̗̦̫̖̼̲̱̞i̳̲̰̥̮̦͍͓̜͙̹̭̥̦͎͙͙͡͝͝ͅs̸̴͓̝̩̘͚͉͍̥̼̗̘̫̱̬̮͖̞̘̠͘͡͠
͜҉͕͚̼̳̖͕͇͇̗͓̻͇̦ͅ
̷̛̝̮̬̤̲̰̳̯̥̣͖̤̫̪͇͈̥̠́͟
҉̛̠̳̪͇͔̹̻̫̲̖͍͟
̧͝҉̡̹͉͍̳͇͉̬͉̦̗̟͕͝
H́͌ͦͥ͑͜͡͏̙̰͚̟̦͉̫͖̥̼̯̱̮Ę̡̜̖̫̖̰̣͙̜̟̤̤̻͚͚̳̰̞̮͗ͮ̄ͨ͂̔̄̾ͯͩ͒ͪ̆ͥͪ ̲̘̦̦͈̬̙̯̤̫̦̥̬̒̎ͣ̍̉̅̾͌͌̿̓̀̆ͬ̆̚͢͟ͅC̶̟̼͍̖̠̣̹͖̲̖͉͉̽̿̄ͯ̔̓̈̈́̽̔̂͌̆̾ͧ͐̀͗̈́̕͜͡O̷͛ͧͮ͑̊̎͐̐͗̚̚͏̶̯̰͎̤͙̬̬͓͖̮̹̥͎̬͕͓̬̭͍M̷̴̵̻̰̼͓͚̓ͪ̑͑̒̄͆ͥͩ͗̇͗̚͞͠Ē͑ͨ̂̌ͯͪ̚͞҉͟҉͚̭͖̜͍̬̟̗̘̺ͅȘ̢̻̦̫̫̲̭̩̥̈̄ͤ̓̇̎̀͝͡

Blog layout change

If you happen to be visiting while the blog is undergoing a major overhaul, tough luck. But hey... the background is now beer. 

U jelly?

Disregard that and just admire this fine portrait

 

Leaving you in the company of this fine gentleman



 U still jelly

Out with the old, in with the new

Rumors have been circulating around the interbutts that the era of the trollface is almost at its end. Or perhaps you've heard the ones about a new trollface making its way to the front stage. They are all TRUE.
So without further ado.....

 

Just look at it for a second. It's awesome. Time to get rid of all those old trollface logos and replace them with the new one right?

PROBLEM?

Diamonds *_*

Have you ever wanted a chick but whatever you did you just couldn't impress her? Tired of retarded guides? Well i have the solution for your problem:

DIAMONDS; bitches love diamonds

Diamonds are awesome but equally expensive. Worry not newfriends for i have come up with a way to make diamonds that is inexpensive and fast. Natural diamonds form over billions of years at temperatures higher than your mum's core (and deeper too), but my get diamonds fast method will produce results in less than 5 minutes.

You'll need the following:  A jug of bleach (actually you need the sodium hypochlorite from it), a jug of good quality ammonia, lots of grass and a bucket or bowl to mix it all in. Below you'll find the instructions illustrated for your comfort.

 

Making diamonds 101

*This post is now DIAMONDS*

More Facebook

After seeing how the previous post about trolling on facebook turned out to be such a big success i've decided to make a fan page for the blog. So go on and click the shiny like button to the right of the page or go to it directly here

1 UP

Oh and about the little green colored links. They're in-text ads from Infolinks. Trolls need money too

Facebook + trolling = LOVE ( the troll's guide to Facebook)

People posting information about themselves, thoughts, opinions and more somewhere for everyone to see? That is such an awesome idea it practically begs to be trolled. With facebook's obvious security flaws it's easier than ever!
It is still a dangerous affair and should not be treated lightly. Proper precautions must be taken; proxies and all that jazz (very useful skill for a troll; i'll be covering that eventually); unless you want to end up like this sucker. Below you'll find an illustrated guide on how to efficiently troll them weaklings

Keep in mind that the potential for this is limitless and if you have any ideas, gimmicks or a little troll on your shoulder telling you to DO EET! write it down below.

New milestone and developement; a little lesson in troll history

This post commemorates reaching 500 followers, or as i like to call them, troll padawans. I'd like to thank you for your continued support and pledge to keep trolling all of you at my maximum potential.

By now you're probably wondering: where does that trollface come from? You might be surprised to find out it actually comes from DevianTart more specifically a guy named Whynne. Now i know that after a quick glance at his work you might be thinking he's a new on the interwebs but he does take full credit for it.
Remember kids: 1000 monkeys writing on 1000 typewrites will eventually produce the best novel ever written! Same goes for newfriends.

First instance of Trollface evah

Prolonged: absence and the Egypt riots

I'd like to start off by saying i regret nothing!

That being said i'd like to bring to your attention the current situation in Egypt where a bunch of decent fellows  are partying like it's 1904. On a more serious note the revolutions started sometime this month after their glorious leader for 30 years (Hosni Mubarak) محمد حسني سيد مبارك decided it would be cool to turn off the internet. Lulz ensued and what started as a mild peaceful protest turned into a flame war.On top of all that this wench thinking that her opinion on the matter was somehow relevant started babbling non stop about the situation down there. She was promptly told to gb2kitchen. 
After personally speaking to the people of Egypt about their wishes and demands i came to the following conclusion: 

Absence and troll physics. Title related

As many of you have probably noticed i've been missing for quite a while now. But fear not, i'm back and feeling better than ever and you can blame uni for all this.
Now you may wonder, why did you go to uni anyway? nothing to learn there. Well my fellow trolls you are utterly wrong. I'm going to show you something useful that i learn in my physics classes. Take note

1. Magnets are god damned overpowered: Just about anything can be explained with magnetism ( see Lost ) and there is absolutely nothing you can not achieve using magnets. The following pictures are a perfect example of this.

Perpetuum mobile using magnets

As you can clearly see, magnets are the solution for most of the world's current problems including the energy crisis and safety.

Physics at it's best

2. Energy problems are somehow not obsolete. In the following picture we see a very basic device that can easily solve all your energy problems. To the people who potentially could not see the advantages of this design and point out ridiculous flaws, i strongly urge you to take a basic course in mechanics and get your head out of your sphincters.







 

Quantum physics made easy

 3. People don't understand quantum physics. Truth is there's nothing simpler and understanding it is probably the key to advancing our already retarded society. If we take a look at the following slides we can observe some of the really neat things you can do once you start getting how light works. I mean, who wouldn't wanna be faster than light!?






Remember people, keep an open mind and your horizons will broaden like a stream of light through a prism into a majestic rainbow of creativity and faggotry.

Old Spice Guy laying down the law

OSG putting on his monocle as he prepares for some seriosu trolling

As most of you know and should know Old Spice Guy, referred to from hereafter as OSG, is truly and awesome badass. OSG is the man you could smell like if you used Old Spice (or took showers). He is the pinnacle of manliness and an example of what every horny teenager should strive for in their lives. He has a YT Channel, in which he replies to various YouTubers, twitards and other assorted denizens of the Internets giving advice on how they can be better people and filling requests for things like proposing marriage on behalf of some loser with a girlfriend. He was also featured on some fag's blog where he was praised and worshiped like the man he truly is. See here

NPH doing it wrong

 On 14th July 2010, Old Spice Guy retired from making vidyas is a tearful farewell YouTube to finally GTFO that fucking bathroom he'd been in for two weeks solid to attend to moar pressing matters. He immediately headed down the the Gulf of Mexico, donned a scuba tank and swan dived! into the Deepwater Horizon oil leak after BP's months of hard FAIL.

The video which probably got everybody's attention however, is his reply to Anonymous where he previously stated he gladly accept the title as the 147th King and that he's flattered by all the attention

But as awesome as he might be he's not immortal or untouchable. Rumors say he developed cancer (mesothelioma to be precise), which if you believe the badmouths is the true reason behind his untimely departure. Our thoughts are with you oh glorious king of men.

400

In troll mythology 400 is a very lucky number as it signifies prosperity and well being. The story behind this number can be traced as far back as the ancient days when you just lost the game.
Just messing with you, reached 400 suckers trolled and i wanted to brag, yeah i'm that awesome. Stay frosty

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE

And i decided to go with the 15 hole deluxe Japanese fingerbox briefcase. Thanks for all the wonderful input!

Fingerboxes and you

1 hole fingerbox

Recently there's been a lot of talk around these so called fingerboxes. For those of you who aren't familiar, take a quick look at the pic to the right.
So with all the hype about it i decided to get me one, but you see... here's the dilema. I don't know if i should go for a 15 individual fingerbox briefcase or to get the 6+1 unitary.
The first one is made out of real Japanese maple wood and is quite expensive, while the second one is made from plywood, but has a lined interior.











How about you guyse help me choose by voting in the poll ^_^ ? Here's the two models lined up for you. Any feedback from other fingerbox enthusiasts is greatly appreciated

6+1 holer

15 hole deluxe briefcase

                                                            VS

Winrar

I think it's about time i revealed the winner of the contest i've been hosting for the past week or so. And the winner is...


drumroll

the winner when he finds out

/drumroll

kasek 


for his inspirational answer

roses are red

violets are blue

for better preformance

delete system32

Good job man. The link to your blog is right above the blogroll to your left.
This concludes this trolling exam. Congrats for those of you that passed and better luck next year those who haven't. Keep trolling!

Exam

So as i'm sitting at my battlestation sipping my Cuba libre and thinking about the fact that uni starts next week something hit me. Why not hold a troll exam, no, A CHALLENGE to all trolls? As a reward ( not that winning this thing isn't a reward in itself) i'll have a permanent link back to your blog somewhere on mine; and no not at the bottom, but kind of like the blog roll to the right... AND you get to be my protégé. So without further a due:

I want you to finish this poem for me, in the manner you see fit. Troll who gets most points wins.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

.......................

.......................

Points are awarded as follows:

-5 pts for writing your comment in the form of an answer which makes sense, using real words - this means you pass* (i'm lenient)

-1 pt for writing both rows (1 row is fine but you don't get this point)

-2 pts for rhyming (+1 more if the rhyme makes sense)

-1 pt if the word that ends the rhyme isn't "you", "too", "to", "2" and ofc "blue"

-1 troll point for style.

You may begin immediately and you have until i decide to write a new post/article/the game

*passing means you get to have your blog added to the blogroll

Sloganizer!

So guys, check out Sloganizer. This thing can provide a good 4-5 minutes of extreme lulz if you know what to write and/or if you're in good company. I suggest stuff like: racism, Hitler, buttseks, gang-rape and the classic two-hand fisting. Give it a try!

Thanks Sloganizer!

Trolling (the truth)

OK everybody it seems like i've made a huge error and along with it i've lead you down the path of damnation and fail.

Newfags trolling

It was recently brought to my attention that what i considered to be trolling is something completely different. You see... trolling is a method of fishing where one or more fishing lines, baited with lures or bait fish, are drawn through the water. This may be behind a moving boat, or by slowly winding the line in when fishing from a static position, or even sweeping the line from side-to-side, e.g. when fishing from a jetty. So grab your fishing lines cause it's about to get wet.
Apparently all this time we've been doing it wrong so i've prepared a quick start guide. CAUTION: proper equipment is a must!
Accodrding to The People's Communist Republic of Wikipedia trolling speed is one of the most important aspects to consider while trolling:

Baits and lures are typically trolled at speeds up to 9 knots, though speeds up to 15 knots can be used, particularly when trolls are travelling to different trolling areas. The speed at which the lure is pulled through the water impacts on the fishing success. The optimum trolling speed varies with different species of fish, with weather conditions and the time of year, and other conditions. Chinook salmon can be successfully trolled at higher speeds than more docile lake trout. For these reasons fishermen use devices that accurately track speed. Trolling motors calibrate speed more accurately than large outboard motors. Trolling plates are also used with larger motors to slow the boat to the desired speed, although some anglers experience mixed results with plates.
Trolling can be effective at surprisingly low speeds.

Protrolling

Yes i am just as shocked as you are but when faced with a reality shattering truth such as this, we must stay strong and not lose faith.

Tips up and tight lines ;)

On the wings of a troll - my life's story, a troll's story

I don't remember when i first started trolling or why. Sometimes these things get lost in the depths of memory, where we commit them and maybe it's best that way.
I was born in a small town in a rather wealthy family and as i recall things were good. But as time went by i grew up and school started. Now let me tell you, that was the perfect trolling environment: lots of saps to mess with, teachers taking kids seriously, yeah school was srs business.
Then one day it happened. I remember that day clear as crystal, the day that would change everything. My best friend had just died and i had been acting very aggressively all week, trolling left and right. Events culminated with me getting in a battle with some tough-ass rapper which lasted for a few hours and my mom got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

Celebration - Throw a paper plane to your loved ones

Hello there young apprentices. As many of you may know this is the 11th of September. For us trolls this day marks one of the lulziest event in modern history. But laughing about it is just plain wrong...
Now what we need to do is spread the love and to that end i've decided a paper plane would be the best way to do it. At the bottom of the article you'll find a visual guide on how to construct a paper plane.
 I advise you write "Happy 9/11 day!" on it and throw it to your friends, loved ones or even random people to make their day just a bit more miserable. Now go, go and spread the love and merriment.




The first pale leaves
A tower collapsing            
Autumn's embrace






What can i say... days like this make me feel poetic :3

For you advanced trolls here's a youtube video detailing on how to make a really badass plane: Fo' shizzle

Case Study: The Troll Sage

The Saga of Bloodninja is one of the first and best trolling sagas of the early internets. As far as trolls go, this is easily one of the greatest in the entire history of internet trolling.
Now i do not wish to undervalue his skills or show no disprespect but you have to keep in mind that this was at the dawn of chatrooms, when users were as much aware of trolling as normal people IRL. Keeping that in mind, any of you with a bit of immagination and a lot of time (aka nolifers) could have done just a good of a job.

In unrelated news, i'm back and i'll continue where i left off. Also, scroll down to the next article ;)